The Best (Worst?) Ugly Sweaters for Holiday Parties
The holidays are approaching—and things are about to get ugly. We aren’t talking about the sure-to-be hellish travel days ahead, or the likely prospect of your online gift orders arriving late this year. It’s almost National Ugly Sweater Day, baby! Oh, didn’t you know? There’s an official day designated for bundling up in layers that are universally unflattering. We could all use a bit of communal, lighthearted fun right about now. Could ugly holiday sweaters be the great unifier? The secret to world peace after all? There’s only one way to find out.
National Ugly Sweater Day is celebrated on the third Friday of December. In other words, it’s officially time to start rejoicing the holidays in your most unattractive festive garb and—in the season of giving—bestow the gift of fugly to your loved ones too. Here are our 10 so-brash-they’re-kinda-nice favorites.
1. Iggy Spiked Cotton-Jacquard Sweater
An acid trip on Christmas Day would look something like the abstract landscape on Iggy’s cotton jacquard-knitted sweater. The company motto behind this chromatic hallucination of dinosaur scales, spikes, and spurs is “do whatever you want.” No kidding.
[$175; mrporter.com]
2. Tipsy Elves Men’s Bezos Blue Origin ‘You Paid For This’ Ugly Christmas Sweater
If you really wanna get in Santa’s good graces, you’ll be throwing on this good luck charm from Tipsy Elves—or spreading the warmth with an unforgettable (and unforgivable) Christmas gift. Only a billionaire’s space tourism company could inspire something like this.
[$49.95; tipsyelves.com]
3. Vamtac Men’s Grassland Cow Vintage Oversize Knitted Sweater
Available on Amazon, the chunky sweatshirts (a.k.a. pullover jumpers) from Vamtac are knitted with vintage-inspired designs and quirky animal figures. Sure this pastoral setting with grazing cows is a tad weird, but there’s a whole lotta cozy happening behind the scene.
[$48.99; amazon.com]
4. The Elder Statesman Paradise Ribbed Cashmere Sweater
Hand-knitted from a kaleidoscope of cashmere yarns, the Paradise sweater from The Elder Statesmen is like a psychedelic fever dream of infinite chromatic depth. Los Angeles designer Greg Chait took inspiration for this one from L.A.’s sun-drenched climate—and presumably from America’s birthplace of neon.
[$1,735; mrporter.com]
5. Balenciaga Distressed oversized wool-blend sweater
With all the tears and rips on this oversized Balenciaga jumper, just pretend you got into an antler fight with a reindeer and won. “You should see the other guy.” This is hand-distressed in Italy.
[$1,450; matchesfashion.com]
6. Anonymous Ism Fair Isle Wool-Blend Sweater
Anonymous Ism’s wool-blend sweater features a handful of Fair Isle patterns in a patchwork motif that would make any crochet hook-wielding grandma proud. A flexible ribbed trim will keep this garment shapely even after the largest holiday meals.
[$280: mrporter.com]
7. Ader Error Brown Jasper Cardigan
Made of a hodgepodge of knit alpaca, wool, and mohair, this oversized cardigan from Ader Error is a wildcard that will either inspire reactions ranging from “that’s cool AF” to “WTF is that??” Front toggle fasteners are specially designed to remind us what a miracle invention zippers were.
[$765; ssense.com]
8. Alchemist Brown Surf Fringe Sweatshirt
Creep into the room looking like Sasquatch’s best-dressed cousin with Alchemist’s tie-dye Surf Fringe Sweatshirt. This showstopper is made from ultra-cozy French terry fit for sipping nog, snacking on darn-addictive sugar cookies, and passing out horizontal in the same afternoon.
[$189: ssense.com]
9. Andersson Bell Beige & Blue Heavy Jacquard Sweater
The unconventional beige and turquoise color composition on Andersson Bell’s wool-and-alpaca-blend jacquard knit sweater is certainly a visual cacophony, but it’s intriguing nonetheless.
[$270; ssense.com]
10. Idgreatim Unisex Ugly Christmas Crewneck Sweatshirt
Here’s a truly repulsive Christmas sweater that unabashedly reveals the body-oddy-oddy Mr. Claus is hiding underneath that red suit. Turns out, he doesn’t manscape, has a bunch of gnarly tattoos, and uses Christmas tree ornaments as nipple piercings. Now here’s a gift mom will love.
[$39.99; amazon.com]